Does My Dog Love Me?

It’s easy to know that you love your dog — you probably wouldn’t even be reading this if your four-footer didn’t make your heart melt. 

But figuring out whether or not your dog loves you is a different matter. It’s actually a pretty complicated question, which requires us to explore the inner workings of other animals, consider the evidence our dogs present, and even contemplate the true definition of “love.”

So, we’ll dive into the issue below, as we explore what love is, how dogs experience love, and how to know if your dog loves you.

Emotions in Animals Vs. Humans: Are They Different?

There was a time when humans assumed that animals were automatons; they were little more than non-feeling, non-thinking, and non-sentient entities.

Furry or feathered robots, you could say. 

We even justified injustices towards nonhuman animals based on this premise. 

Rene Descartes, a 17^th century philosopher most famous for coining the phrase “I think therefore I am,” maintained that nonhuman animals couldn’t reason or feel pain. Instead, he suggested that only humans have minds and souls.

But this is wrong. Very wrong. 

We know now that not only do animals feel physically, they also have complex emotional and mental lives.

Most anyone with a companion dog will rhyme off a plethora of examples illustrating the inner emotional lives of their beloved friends. And love – reciprocated love – will certainly be at the top of this list!

Would your pup greet you with such enthusiasm at the door when you get home if she didn’t love you? Would she jump on your lap when you’re sad? 

Of course not.

We’ll give you a few clues to look for to determine whether or not your dog loves you in a moment, but we want to share a few wise words from primatologist Frans DeWaal first:  

“We like to see ourselves as special, but whatever the difference between humans and [other] animals may be, it is unlikely to be found in the emotional domain.”

Are Dogs Capable of Love? 

In her book, Our Dogs, Ourselves, author Alexandra Horowitz makes the point that we cannot ever assume that nonhuman animal emotions are experienced in the same way as we experience them simply by observing. 

This tendency to attribute human traits and emotions onto non-human entities is called anthropomorphism. We all do it to some extent, but, as Horowitz cautions, we must be careful about doing so. 

But this does not mean canines don’t experience emotions like love! It is just something that we can’t fully measure.

The “Does My Dog Love Me Quiz”: 10 Signs That Your Dog Loves You 

As we’ve discussed, it simply isn’t possible to know definitively that our dogs love us. 

But, this shouldn’t be as depressing as you may initially suspect: After all, we can’t be certain that our parents, children, or partners love us either — we must simply consider the evidence available and draw the best conclusions we can.  

It can be tricky to do so with dogs, however, because they provide different types of evidence that they may love us. Dogs don’t buy us fancy gifts, make us breakfast in bed, or compose songs proclaiming their deep feelings for us. 

Instead, dogs exhibit a few different signs (detailed below) that indicate affection and — depending on how you choose to define the term — love. 

So, if you are wondering whether or not your dog loves you, ask yourself if your dog exhibits one or more of the signs below:

1. The loving gaze. With soft, relaxed eyes (rather than a hard stare), your dog’s gaze can certainly make your feel loved. And in actuality, your dog’s gaze has been shown to increase Oxytocin levels not just in humans, but in our pup’s too! This is unique between dogs and their humans. Eye contact between two dogs or dogs and other animals can actually be seen at threatening.
2. Body proximity and personal space. Dogs like to lean on those they love. My pup, Juno, often chooses to lean against my leg or curl up next to me with some part of her body touching mine. It’s important to keep in mind that your four-footer may lean against you because she feels anxious and is looking for some extra comfort or security. Regardless, leaning against you and seeking you out makes her feel safe and secure.
3. Sleeping nearby. Does your dog decide to sleep with you, or near you? Maybe in your bed or beside you in her own bed? Co-sleeping means that she is comfortable and relaxed with you.
4. Excited greetings. Who doesn’t get excited when someone they love gets home at the end of the day? I know I sure adore coming home to such a warm greeting! (Note that there are things you can do to chill out your canine if her jumping behavior becomes a problem).
5. Stealing your laundry. Unlike humans and other primates who primarily experience the world through their visual sense, dogs experience the world through their sense of smell above all else. It’s actually quite an honor when she chooses your socks or shirts! She loves you and the smell of you. To hang on to that smell, she may steal those socks you left on the bathroom floor. Additionally, stealing your clothes probably elicits your attention. That makes laundry stealing a win-win for Fluffy!
6. Frequently checking in with you. Wanting to know you’re close by is a sign of adoration. When out for a hike, my pup loves to explore. But out of sight, I may see her peek around the corner making sure I’m still close by. Checking in is also a good thing if your dog has any issues with anxiety or fear. Checking in with you in those situations is exactly the response we want (over becoming reactive or running the other way).
7. Seeking physical contact with you. Not all dogs love to be touched, and that’s OK. Others are total cuddle bums! Some just like to be near you without being pet. Whether your dog likes or dislikes being touched, seeking you out for comfort is a sign of love in my book.
8. That doggy “smile”. This isn’t the same as a human smile, and different dog “smiles” can mean different things. When the corners of the mouth are tight and pulled back showing teeth, it could be a sign of aggression or a sign of anxiety. However, when your pup is relaxed, with that soft gaze and wiggly body, her mouth and jaw are also relaxed, giving you that lovely, adoring “smile”!
9. Yawning with you. Maybe you’ve heard of yawning as a way to measure empathy? Once one person yawns, it’s contagious, showing a level of empathetic response. Well, scientists have used this to measure whether dogs also have the ability to empathize with their humans using the yawn test. Some dogs, in fact, do score high on this empathetic response measure. None of my dogs are on this list, however. So, don’t be too alarmed if your yawn isn’t reciprocated.
10. Lifting eyebrows. Dogs have a lot of facial muscles and use 19 different gestures to communicate with their humans. The eyebrow lift is one of them! Lifting her eyebrow when she sees you can be attributed to a sign of affection to her humans.

Note: Just because your dog doesn’t do one or more of these things, does not mean she doesn’t love you!

There are lots of things that might make sleeping close to you difficult (arthritis) or being close to you not ideal for her in a given situation (she is fearful or anxious). So, don’t panic if your dog doesn’t exhibit the signs discussed above.

Every dog is an individual, who expresses herself in different ways.

Does My Dog Really Love Me, or Is It Just Because I Feed Her? 

In a study published by canine scientist Gregory Berns and his colleagues, the team found evidence that suggests that dogs do feel affection for their humans.

During their work, the researchers presented dogs with the scents of their owner, a human they didn’t know, a familiar dog, an unfamiliar dog, and their own scent. 

By motoring brain activity, they determined that of all the scents, only the familiar human scent activated the part of the brain that indicates things we like or enjoy. 

These results, compiled with the oxytocin studies mentioned above, indicate some form of love that goes beyond simply providing treats.

Do dogs love unconditionally? Probably pretty close.

Through treats can’t hurt!

Does My Dog Know I Love Her? 

We can never really know what a dog knows.  

But it is clear that dogs and humans have a very special bond. In part, it’s why we have co-evolved and why dogs are such a huge part of our lives and of our society. 

Dr. Brian Hare is a leading expert in this field. He has done a lot of research looking at dog cognition and development. In fact, he has measured hormone levels in dogs. 

His research has confirmed what we, as pup parents, already know: Our dogs love us, and they know that we love them too!

Do Dogs Love Other Dogs? 

One way we can infer feelings of love is by examining what happens when non-human animals suffer loss.

If a dog loses a close companion without displaying any evidence of sadness or depression, it would suggest that they may not be capable of love.

On the other hand, if dogs grieve following the loss of a playmate or partner in crime, it suggests that they may feel something akin to human love.

As it turns out, there is a growing body of evidence that suggests non-human animals do, in fact, grieve.

And whether we call it “love” or not, dogs certainly form attachments to one another. In the scientific world, we would say the two are bonded. But, if you define love as affection between two individuals, I most certainly would say dogs can love other dogs.

My pup, Juno, has some friends I would like to think she loves. She is excited to see them, she enjoys their company, and she doesn’t want to leave them at the end of the play session. 

I’d say that’s a pretty good indication of love.

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Even if dogs don’t experience love in the same way that humans feel love, it doesn’t mean there is any less of an emotional connection.

I’ve talked to many people who would even argue that they have more of an emotional connection to their dogs than other people. And I can’t imagine that would be true if there wasn’t some form of reciprocation.

How does your pup show you how much she loves you? Tell us all the ways!